I'm not so much interested in introducing myself to the community as I am introducing myself to those who are new to, and interested in joining the world of sailing.

I came to the world of sailing out of sheer necessity.  I believe my participation in the world of sailing then is rather unique.  But I believe that there are others out there in the world who are either joining, or interested in joining the world of sailing not to become a part of an existing floating community, but to create their own.

For me, sailing was an answer to a life or death question.  I suffered brain damage from a house fire in 2004, and subsequently lost many abilities that allowed me to survive just fine within society.  Curiously, my ability to survive on my own were undamaged.  But trying to deal with societal responsibilities was an impossibility for me without help.  And when my ability to provide that help for myself was taken from me by sadistic social workers who hated me for my inability to meet their behavioral expectations because of my injuries, I realized I had no future in the USA.  I decided to take care of myself, to take my disability money and find a country where I could live without fear of persecution due to my disabilities, or otherwise to live on the ocean if such a place could not be found.

I bought my first sailboat in September 2012, three months after deciding to leave the USA and find a better place to live.  I had never owned a sailboat, never sailed on my own, and was only a child when my father took us out on his Hobie 16 catamaran, and my father wasn't interested in teaching his children anything, much less how to sail.

I taught myself to sail after reading "The Physics of Sailing Explained" on a Cal 2-24 I acquired for free the January after I bought my 67' Fibersteel Valeo custom, a laminated ferro-cement center pilothouse cutter ketch motorsailer.  I spent a couple of months sailing the Stockton Delta in the Cal 2-24 before setting off on the ocean in my ship after only two hours of practice in the bay.  The third day of my voyage saw gale conditions and a train of 12' breaking waves.

Obviously, sailing came easy to me, as did all the work to prepare this incomplete ship.

My life has taken a turn for the worse unfortunately, as my disabilities left me extremely vulnerable to being taken advantage of.  As a result, I was forced to leave the USA without the money I had saved, and without the ability to claim any of it back nor to claim the damages incurred to my vessel by the City of Morro Bay.  And my efforts to find help and supplies to complete my ship here in Mexico went just as well when the Mexican I bought a sailboat for on the condition he help me with my ship, welched, sold my other boat, and stole many of my belongings in the process, which he did to take advantage of the fact that the Mexican Government has failed to uphold my rights to access to asylum/refuge.

Despite this, I have continue to work on my ship.  I am incredibly resourceful, and last spring, found 300 meters of weathered galvanized tubing for $250USD and replaced all the plastic stantion posts (over rebar backfilled with cement...unique to say the least) and raised them to 6' above deck aft of the foreward mast to allow for installation of shade cloth, an absolute necessity here in southern Baja.  I had no experience welding galvanized steel much less tubing, but quickly setup tools and even made a jig for cutting the ends with a h*** saw.

I have done every bit of work on my ship myself with the exception of paying a window guy to replace one of the windshield seals on my $1500each 1/4inch tempered glass double-curved windshields on my pilothouse.  I have learned to climb rope so I can work up the mast (I bought $1,000USD worth of rope and climbing gear to get over my fear of falling from such heights), and taught myself diving, necessary as I spent some 200 hours clearing the aft centerboard which had become lodged first by a rock, then by a two-by-four some idiot (um...that would be me) shoved down the wrong side of the centerboard trying to free it).  I paid $100 for all of my diving equipment, including a Pegasus medical air compressor I paid $40 for at a swap meet.

I also invested in many other tools.  I now have almost every tool I need to build my interior and complete and maintain my ship.  I have a tablesaw for plywood, a Shopsmith V multi-tool (still looking for the planer and band saw, anyone?), a radial arm saw, a metal cutoff bandsaw, a small lathe, a small drill press (the Shopsmith also acts as both), oxy-acetylene welding, a brilliant wirefeed welder that does steel, galvanized, and even some aluminum and stainless, all on 110V, grinders, sanders, hand and power tools, and much more.

And I have the skills to use these tools and more, skills built over a lifetime of resisting everyone's claims that generalizing was not as good as specializing.  I guess I planned on being a sailor all my life and just never knew it.

I certainly don't lack in skills or tools or even many of the resources I need.  I've even learned how to forecast weather, so well in fact that I've had to send some rather harsh comments to the National Hurricane Center for relying too heavily on models and concentrating more on being right than keeping people safe (storm tracks changing halfway through a storm to show it hitting land is NOT good practice; if there is ANY risk of a storm ever hitting land, it should be indicated in all stages of the forecast.)

And I am always willing to share my skills and knowledge with anyone who isn't going to take advantage of me.  Unfortunately, my experience, at least here in southern Baja, has proven that too many in the sailing community are like too many in the USA: selfish and more than willing to take serious advantage of a disabled man's generosity.

Presently, I am looking for companions.  This is a particularly difficult task for me, especially given the treatment I have been subject to which has me completely unable to place Craigslist personals ads due to manual censorship, part of the treatment I received while in the USA due to people's judging me by my disabilities.  I am also trying to raise funds to replace what was taken from me through a Go Fund Me campaign, but I promise I won't spam the board like someone else has been.

But the reason I am here is to offer my insight into sailing not from the perspective of someone who wants to go sail to see the world, but from the perspective of someone who now lives as a sailor full time and for the rest of his days.  I have a lot to offer, because I have had to learn everything I could so that I could understand everything about sailing from the depths of the ocean to the sea and the boat on it, to the sky and its weather above, and the stars to guide and inspire my voyages by.

I am always open to answer questions, provide advice, and teach anyone anything they would like to learn that I can teach.

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Dear site admin:  please adjust your profanity filter so that the phrase "a h***" is not changed to "a h***"

Thank you

Sorry folks, I was in a bit of a funk when I wrote this. 

I formally rescind my offer to assist anyone.  Not one single person has bothered to lift a finger to help me, and indeed, universally, people take advantage of me, usually by taking the one thing I need the most, my financial resources, the ones I cannot possibly replace thanks to lifetime permanent disability (so bad that my $85,000 in student loan debt was forgiven by the Government, including private debt!).

So no, I am not about to open myself up to being taken advantage of by any of you.  I have conducted research for 12 years which demonstrates that WITHOUT EXCEPTION, people in the USA and other capitalist/imperialist countries are universally selfish to a degree which is at minimum leaving me alone to deal with my disabilities and at worst has people actually working hard to make things more difficult for me.

I am ashamed of my fellow Americans.  I am appalled at the egoism of the sailing community at-large.

Hi Michael,

I am sorry you feel this way and hope you have a change of heart.  I know its hard when it seems everyone is out to take advantage of you. I too have been in the same boat and just when I am ready to give up, something changes.  Call it God, fate or what ever, something happens that renews my faith in man.  I too asked for help in leaving the US and sailing to Mexico, I offered to pay, trade, what ever and couldn't get one person to help me.  I started thinking about doing it alone-screw everyone I thought, I can do this......in the back of my mind I kept thinking, and when I'm dead you'll be sorry.  I really didn't want to die, but I was running out of options, and then things changed.  I was introduced to a friend of a friend, who sailed with me for free.  I met him one day and two days later we left.  I guess what I am saying is don't turn your back on possibilities.  I thought your first post was terrific and feel sorry you are so alone.  Being angry won't get you there, being hopeful will.  I hope things change for you and maybe we will be friends one day when I get to La Paz.  Take care.

Michael Wolf said:

Sorry folks, I was in a bit of a funk when I wrote this. 

I formally rescind my offer to assist anyone.  Not one single person has bothered to lift a finger to help me, and indeed, universally, people take advantage of me, usually by taking the one thing I need the most, my financial resources, the ones I cannot possibly replace thanks to lifetime permanent disability (so bad that my $85,000 in student loan debt was forgiven by the Government, including private debt!).

So no, I am not about to open myself up to being taken advantage of by any of you.  I have conducted research for 12 years which demonstrates that WITHOUT EXCEPTION, people in the USA and other capitalist/imperialist countries are universally selfish to a degree which is at minimum leaving me alone to deal with my disabilities and at worst has people actually working hard to make things more difficult for me.

I am ashamed of my fellow Americans.  I am appalled at the egoism of the sailing community at-large.

Robin,

I very much appreciate your sentiments, and especially your own story of struggling to get out of the USA.

I do have a very difficult time of conveying my thoughts.  Actually, I'm not at fault for that, as my disabilities only prevent me from overcoming the deficit everyone else has (yes, I mean everyone else has a problem, not me) with communication.

You see, communication is the transfer of one complete thought to another mind.  That can't be done without speaking, but it also cannot be done completely and accurately unless questions are asked, and assumptions are not used.  The problem is, we have a society today which is actually incompatible with human nature, and where assumptions are all that matters.  This is because we humans have been forced into herding behavior, which we have the genes for but evolved beyond long, long ago.  So for us to be compatible with modern society, we must not be mature.

And while brain damage certainly backed me on the maturity scale, it did not do so to the half of my brain that matters, it did it to the half that matters only to the herd mindset; to being controlled, and most importantly, to understanding the herd mindset and thus being able to function and "communicate" using assumptions.

And this problem with modern society has become my problem because I matured as a human being to my potential when I was a child.  I cannot possibly go back to being a mental child (no offense, you obviously aren't if you had to escape the "play pen."  So for me, there simply is no hope of finding help because I am an "adult" human trying to find help from a source consisting for all practical purposes of "children."

To clarify too, I have not given up the hope you suggest I don't...I have a couple of web pages and youtube channels that do my searching for me.  My problem has been a need and desire to socialize.  There simply is no way I can socialize, and that means my prospects of finding someone - and knowing I have found a potential someone - disappear.

Socializing is an addiction for me.  And unfortunately I have to break free of my old habits because it just hurts me.  Engaging in conversation with someone who initially seems excited about joining me, and then either finding out they are dishonest and selfish, or them disappearing without any feedback as to why they suddenly and dramatically lost interest cause me so much grief that it actually affects me in very real and potentially dangerous ways (suicidal ideations, intense anger that could manifest publicly in a bad way for me in my precarious situation here in Mexico where I do not have legal immigration status due to being denied access to the asylum application process, etc.).

The only way for me to successfully break free of this is to do so dramatically.  And it has worked quite well to be honest.  I was at a swap meet Sunday, with the gringos here in La Paz who have treated me so badly and whom I have learned to hate.  But my interactions were all within my control because I went with the attitude that I am adult among children, I am morally and intellectually superior, and I will not be phased by their egotistical rantings and social dishonesty.  And even a run in with a "respected" member of the community turned out well for me, as I went into the interaction confident in my position and never backed off, as I would have previously given my demure nature which causes me to defer to other people - a behavior I unfortunately picked up when I learned empathy from the family dogs as a child.  It also helps that I was right - the conversation was about the forecasting methodology for hurricanes here in the Eastern Pacific; which I have characterized as being an effort to be right, rather than an effort to warn people of potential danger.  My argument is that I don't care where the hurricane goes, I only want to know if it COULD come to my location, whereas the forecasting methodology the NHC uses is based on "accurately" predicting where the hurricane will go.  This is not a useful forecasting methodology because it ignores possibilities that would put lives in danger in an effort to have the "most accurate" forecast of a hurricane track and strength.  Odile killed several people a month before I arrived here, and the NHC had forecast it, mere hours before hitting La Paz, to steer completely clear.  Javier did the same thing though the delay was a day rather than hours.

Anyway...the hope you suggest I not lose, I will never lose.  I am the only true optimist on planet earth.  I am so because I understand the history of modern human civilization and that it is based on a disease which is no more than a lack of empathy, an element of humanity that is absolutely necessary as evidenced by the fact that we could not have developed language without it, and social interaction would be, well, rather like it is today.  This is not a human world, and I want no part of it.  But my efforts to try to find people who also don't want to be part of it must come to an end because it is doing more harm than good.

In point of fact, if Craigslist would allow me to place personals ads, I could easily find help, and simultaneously give hope to hundreds of people who simply don't understand that there are alternatives to the slavery people aren't aware they are subject to.

As to your statement that it "seems" like everyone is trying to take advantage of me: I can tell you in no uncertain terms that Americans, and indeed most participants in modern industrialized society actively seek any advantage they can, and a kind, caring, brain damaged, generous man is just an easy target they cannot resist taking advantage of.

Thank you again for your kind words and thoughts.  I wish you all the best.  If you need help, you know where I am and can probably find me quite easily, so don't hesitate to contact me.

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